Sacrifices

I am not sure if I made a post like this before.  I would not be surprised since I have the unfortunate pleasure of thinking about the topic occasionally.

I made many sacrifices in my life as most people have.  The majority of these sacrifices were brought on by love.  Earlier on I remember thinking that maybe I should just hold off on falling in love until I was set into a future.  Due to hormones and what not this is almost near to impossible.  Here is a list of a few of the sacrifices I made.  I will avoid using names of people but I am sure there are those who will still know who I am talking about.  If you wish to know further feel free to ask me but I ask you to share the same consideration and not leave names in the comments.

- Liked a girl because she was smart, beautiful, and fun but ended up leaving before I could gain any courage
- Chose other girl over the previous due to her tears when discussing with me a feeling that she had never felt about anyone else before

-Joined military to pay for college instead of taking out loans like the majority of students
- Split summer training and skipped a year between Basic and Advanced Individual Training so I could be with girl the summer before she started school

- Received letter of recommendation from a senator for West Point.
- Threw letter away and decided to follow a relationship to NDSU and decided to attend for Electrical Computer Engineering

- Girl has mass of homework/studying due to a double major in Architecture and Music and as such is not able to spend very much time together with me as a couple
- Decided to come up with personal reason (i.e. too much math in major) to go along with personal reason (i.e. spend more time helping girl with homework so we could at least spend time)
- Changed major to have a lighter workload to accommodate time needs even though I was extremely interested in the course work

- Went to Advanced Individual Training
- Girl ends relationship upon my return
- I go into a sort of depression and mess my grades up even more by not wanting to get out of bed

- Started a relationship with different girl in attempts to provide closure and a bandage over wound
- Upon graduation girl comes to NDSU to further relationship
- Married girl and had to support new family so started working and had to quit in order to work full-time

- Girl leaves for study abroad in Japan
- I leave for War in Iraq
- We learn how to make the best of the distance and understand what it takes to stay happy

- Girl wants to try JET
- I support her due to the positive effects that the choice could have on the stability of our future
- I stay here this time to finish a path or create a new foundation

Oof, enough of that list, I say.  So yeah, like I said before, I know a thing or two about sacrifices.  Even though these thoughts are in the back of my mind I do not look at where I am in a negative light.  I have a wonderful life and two wonderful families (in-laws being included of course).  Sometimes I do look at myself as a faded shadow of who I could have been.  Sometimes I look forward and see all the possibilities to re-learn and reach that previous drive for the things in which I find passion.  Who knows, maybe I will continue school in Mechatronics after our future is rolling a bit faster.  Maybe I will just fall into a stable job that allows me to spend time with my children.  The only thing that I know to be certain is that we all are people of sacrifice and will be for the rest of our lives.

The Underlying Tone

So I was pulled from sleep at 4am by the regular symphony of birds outside our bedroom window.  Normally I would have been able to fall back asleep with ease but there was something different in the air.  My left ear was picking up a set of electronic beeps that were extremely faint but very patterned.  My guess of why only my left ear could hear it is that my right ear has been damaged slightly more through my years in the service with heavy and light weaponry.  Since it was also only heard the the left ear it made it very difficult to pinpoint the origin of the beeps.  So I fought back by rolling over and putting my left ear to the pillow.  This movement was just enough to block the extremely faint sound of whatever and wherever it was.  In moments I was back to sleep.  Now that I am awake again I can not seem to find the sound.  Maybe there is much more going on during the day that interrupts the wave from reaching my apartment.  This means that whatever the sound was its origins were outside my apartment entering through the glass of my bedroom window.

Roy's Halo

I saw a most beautiful sight that has long since accompanied my view.  As I drove back home from an errand the sun broke through the clouds in its final setting above the horizon.  Dark rain clouds sprinkled droplets from above me.  As I made my way around the corner to my parking spot I saw the edge of something wonderful in the process of creation.  Soon a full arching rainbow spread across the sky opposite the setting sun.  It was a little light near the top but the ends were vibrant.  I quickly parked my vehicle and ran inside to alert Katrina.  I more or less pulled her out the door and into the parking (this was the position with the best view of the sky).  For minutes I stood there breathing in the rain and absorbing the view with my love's warmth cuddled into my arms.  At that moment the world was perfect.  As the rainbow faded we directed our attention to the blazing sky behind us.

It has been way too long since I had last seen a rainbow.  They simply did not have them in Iraq and for some reason I do not remember any from last year...even from that first spring that I was back home.  I will keep this new moment in my heart for many years and use it when I need it the most.  Thank you God.

P.S.  Roy's Halo...get it?  Roy G. Biv? Tee hee hee