Not Cool

When will I learn to not try to be cool. When someone tries to get me to return them some kind of flashy greeting with a series of contact gestures with the hand I should just say "Hey, I'm not cool so I am not going to try to make a fool of myself. A good ol' fashion handshake will do."

There are three outstanding instances that I can recall where I made a total fool of myself while trying to be cool. One time a camp we had to lead a blindfolded person around obstacles and such. Well I thought I could impress one of the cooler kids by showing him how strong I was. I put his hand in the armpit of my elbow and flexed as hard as I could while trying to crush his hand. All he said was "What are you doing?" Yep, fool.

In high school I went with some friends to meet some older kids in Dawson. They say hey and I introduced myself with the most embarrassing hand gesture. I bumped my chest with my fist twice, bounced my fist off my forehead while slightly bowing, and shot the fist off my forehead while sticking out my pointer finger like some sort of forehead rocket. Fool.

Recently I was training this incoming CET. They thought I was a pretty good guy. At the end of the day the TC and I expressed our goodbyes. It started with him initiating a fist-bump which I turned into a fist-bump-clumsy-handshake combo that had us both so confused that he said "Are you alright?" I thought about blaming it on being tired since we were out training from 1000 to 0200 but I didn't feel tired at the moment. I wanted to say "Nope, I am just retarded." I didn't see that one going well. So I just said "Yep." and left, once again, as the fool.

One day I will learn. I think the problem is that people should just stop giving me compliments because it seems like when they do I always prove them wrong. Although, insulting me doesn't work either. :P Just let me do what I do with minor acknowledgment. Maybe that will keep me from acting the fool.