Phantasmagoria

In searching for the correct word I wanted to use to describe this post I happened upon a word that described more. This word seemed to hold the essence of my being. Here is the dictionary.com definition:

phantasmagoria\fan-taz-muh-GOR-ee-uh\ , noun;

1. A shifting series or succession of things seen or imagined, as in a dream.

2. Any constantly changing scene.

I can see either or both throughout my life. However, this post comes around predominantly through the voice of the second entrance. Once again I find myself loosing sight of a chosen path. The edges of the road become over-run with grass and vines. Ahead of me, I see a clearing. Beneath my feet one path has now become many and once again I must rest. Standing on the side and looking as far as I can to see which one I shall follow. Peering into the distance is not as easy as it used to be. This cross road must be correct though, for I am reliving instances again. Meeting people I have met before yet never before have we met. It was different this time. Usually, I can remember bits of how I reacted but am stunned in the moment so I just watch and let it happen. This time I found comfort and instead of being stunned I just smiled and absorbed the moment. If anyone noticed me in the brief few seconds I most likely would have seemed creepy...normal for me I guess.

Anyways, back to my post. I am unsure of what major/career path I want to follow. I was hard set on architecture and still somewhat am. The issue is that negatives are starting to show up and uncertainty is rising. I think once I can get home and visit college again I can make a better decision. This decision doesn't only effect me but will effect my family in the future.